In the last episode of Walks of Life, I posted a 2022 interview with my friend Geoff Cook. We talked again last month, when he caught me up on what’s happened to him over the past 2+ years.
They haven’t been years of all rainbows and sunshine for Geoff. We talk about his continuing job search, a very tough illness last summer requiring surgery, and much more.
As I reflected on this second conversation with Geoff, five thoughts stood out.
I don't personally know many people stronger, tougher, more resilient, or more determined than Geoff. From the moment Go, life has thrown up obstacles in his way. Especially the past three years, life has repeatedly kicked him in the teeth. A failed attempt to move to Germany, which offers more sweeping support for people with disabilities. A job search lasting over two years. A move back in with his family in upstate New York. On top of his congenital challenge, cerebral palsy, an extended hospital stay last summer after a terrible illness, resulted in an unneeded surgery, another surgery, and continuing illness and discomfort. And yet Geoff keeps going, keeps pushing forward, and with a smile. He admits he has tough moments. One of the most poignant moments in the interview is when he says, in effect, while he's had a disability his entire life, his recent illness has left him feeling disabled to a degree he never has before. I have seen and heard Geoff in some deeply down times. And yet he comes up again and again, ready to make the best of his day, his life, and his opportunities. He is simply one of the most remarkable people I know.
To continue that point, Geoff lives a full, thriving life — with friends, travel, hopes, dreams, family, worries. All the things. I found his reflections here beautiful — "just because I have a disability doesn't mean I lead a sad life."
In this talk, Geoff made me think more deeply about problem solving. His points about having a Plan A, B, C, D and F -- where F means "Figure it the F out" — has stayed with me. I can only imagine how mentally and exhausting it would be to have so many backup plans. But I've had a few times in life where, looking back in the cold, harsh light of reality, I wish I'd come up with more thoughtful and carefully considered backup plans. When these moments might come up in life, Geoff has taught me to plan, plan, and plan again.
He mentions looking at restaurant menus before eating out, so that he can order food that doesn't need to be cut. Why? Because with his cerebral palsy, cutting is difficult and makes him seem weak — or might make him seem weaker than he is to some of his dining companions. There is a pervasive ethos in today's world that we should reveal our weak spots, "be vulnerable." That notion has always struck me as off. Maybe we can share some vulnerabilities with close friends or dear family. But I still think there is worth in keeping some parts of ourselves to ourselves. Maybe you disagree. But I appreciate Geoff's conscious decision to show himself in his strongest light in such moments.
Geoff loves to travel, is warm and gregarious. He makes easy friends wherever he goes. He has deep, abiding friendships. He mentions his profound desire to "go see my people." Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes! We humans have an innate, inextinguishable desire to be physically present with the people we like, admire and love. Modern life may not always allow the in-person experience. But when we can, be in-person.
Thank you, Geoff, for another amazing, heartfelt and fun conversation!
Episode Links
Geoff’s LinkedIn profile
Boudica, queen of the ancient Briton Iceni tribe, who led a revolt against the Roman Empire in 60-61 CE.
Making Space, which “helps Disabled people build skills and find meaningful work, while supporting employers to hire and retain valuable talent.” Its Ascend Program aims “to connect Disabled professionals with competitive, sustainable employment while helping companies build more inclusive hiring practices.”
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